List of Trainers

Jackie,

My number one choice, but a snowball has a better chance of lasting an eternity in hell than my getting Jackie as a personal trainer. So here are my other choices, listed in order.





Brian

So helpful, and have you seen the size of this Southerner's hands? Just saying. Plus he's Doug's friend and he's passionate about his work. I simply love passion.






Gregg,

Love those eyes, would love to exercise my fingers up and down those biceps. Ooh-la-la.








Andre,

Yummy and seemingly normal. Close toss-up, dahlings.







Zen,

Friendly and cute as a kitten, but funnier than me. Na ah.







Rebecca,

She's fit, cute, and from my home state, but dahlings, she might mistake me for Jackie and stick her tongue down my throat while I was distracted. So, nope.





Jesse

You kidding? I believe in harmony and one-ness with all mankind, and absolute acceptance of all I do and say. I need to lower my blood pressure, not up it. He's kinda cute though, but ... naw.





Erika

You think I'm an idiot? Why would I want Angelina's double any where near me? Our combined fabulosity would strike all men blind and we'd get sued for reckless endangerment. B'sides, she believes in mental health.