(Laughter in the background).
Bravo’s got to think about the network's future. The next D-lister could be Brooke Shields. Have you noticed how her rising star stalled after Tom Cruise stopped pickin’ on her? They fear that you really ticked her off dissin’ her momma’s alcoholism in that hilarious wedding skit. But that’s neither here nor there. Once Brooke falls to D-list status, Bravo might have a hard time convincing her to front a series for them. And that would be ALL your fault.
Kathy G: (Sputtering and choking) Whothehelldoyouthinkyouare? I am a comedic ARTISTE. No one tells me my business! Specially not a sniveling little nobody like you. I got nominated for an EMMY! I promoted my dog walker to tour manager!
Ms. Place: Hey, I'm with you, girlfriend. Look, Bravo WANTS you to follow your BLISS. I'll only be emailing you a teensy Quality Report after every show suggesting improvements. Like where you might have been a tad kinder towards someone. That's all.
Kathy G: (Voice rising) Kinder? TO WHOM?
Ms. Place: Ryan Seacrest and Clay Aiken, for example. Dakota Fanning. Lindsey Lohan. Need I go on?
Kathy G: You and everybody at Bravo can suck it!
(Sound of phone slamming)
Bravo Brass: How’d it go, Missy?
Ms. Place: (Sighs) She's pissed, but I think our Kath will come around. Where else can she go? The View?
(Snickering and guffaws all around. And the sound of the Bravo Brass leaving Ms. Place's office.)
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Disclaimer: This conversation came purely from Ms. Place's fertile imagination. Although she is convinced that she and Kathy are soulmates, they have never spoken. In other words, don't get your knickers in a twist, dahlings. This post is all about fun and sport.
